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Have you heard of “scarcity mindset” and “abundance mindset”?

It’s something that’s come up again and again when people ask me for advice:

“I feel so behind, everyone has their lives figured out. I don’t know what to do…”

Or when I moved from Canada to Australia:

“How can you just move without feeling sad? Don’t you miss everyone back home?”

Here’s how I think about loss and change (in a way that helps me, not hurts me).

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My fear of missing out: scarcity mindset

A lot of my actions used to be rooted in fear:

• I’d say yes to something because I feared missing out

• I’d avoid starting a new project because I feared being judged (or failing)

• I’d repress my feelings because I feared I’d “ruin” other people’s fun

But after a year of therapy…I started realizing this mindset wasn’t helping me.

It wasn’t leading me towards the life I wanted.

It was the scarcity mindset.

Here’s what that looks like in my head:

• I have to say yes to this opportunity even if I don’t want it, because I might not get another one

• I don’t have time to start my own business, I need more knowledge and experience before I try

• I can’t tell people when I’m sad because they’ll get mad at me and I’ll lose their respect or friendship

  • (But lowkey this was me judging them cuz why did I think my friends would be so cruel to judge me for being vulnerable 😭)

If you relate, you have to ask yourself:

Do you want to live your life dictated by fear?

I didn’t.

But changing is easier said than done…

So here’s how I started.

What an abundance mindset looks like

If a scarcity mindset is dictated by fear of not having enough

(Not enough money, time, confidence, experience, etc.),

An abundance mindset is the assurance that there is enough.

Instead of:

• Feeling pressured to say yes to an opportunity because there might not be more

• Not starting a business because I only have “one chance” to get it perfectly right

• Repressing my feelings because I don’t want to lose my friends

I challenged my assumptions.

What if:

• There are endless opportunities to pick from?

• I have unlimited chances to start new businesses and projects?

• I can always make new friends (or enrich my existing friendships by being more vulnerable)?

Wouldn’t that be exciting?

Live a life of excitement, not a life of fear

That’s why I don’t really mind if I’m “behind.”

And I don’t really mind if I move to a completely new country.

Because having an abundance mindset means I’m thinking these types of thoughts:

• I have lots of time to figure things out

• I have lots of chances to try (and “fail” or learn)

• If I miss my friends, I can always call or fly back home

• I am excited to make new friends in a new place

• I’m not really missing out on experiences back home - I’m excited to experience new things in a new country instead

Having an abundance mindset means you’re excited to learn.

It means you’re curious - and when you’re curious, it’s hard to judge yourself.

Reframing scary challenges from “if I post a TikTok and get 100 views, it’s cringe and people will judge me”

To “I wonder what happens if I post 30 days in a row?”

Makes life more exciting (instead of fearful).

What’s one scary thought you have that you can reframe?

Til next time,

Jennifer