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Today my friend vibe checked me.

“Jen, you’re always saying you’re gonna do something then you never do it. Every time we chat, you talk about the same thing.”

This made me stop and wonder why.

Was I just lazy?

Did I not truly care about my goals?

Or was it something else?

Here’s what my life tracking reflections taught me…

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Looking at my 2025…

I kept seeing common themes with what I was struggling with.

“I’m stuck doing something I hate because I’m too scared to tell this person no.”

Even my sister noticed that over the years, the source of my suffering seemed to be the same:

I couldn’t leave a situation that I felt stuck in.

This behaviour of constantly doing things when I say I don’t want to do them…

It made me lose trust in myself.

And that’s the root of every problem I face now.

Why I couldn’t stick with my goals

Last year I had this goal of making $20k a month.

I worked on my business every day. Turned it into a habit.

I even hit that goal 1 month in August 2024…

But I still felt like a failure.

It’s because every month I was telling myself:

“You can’t do this. What if you get stuck doing something you hate again?”

And ironically, that line of thinking is how I ended up doing things I hated 😅 

(It’s because I was scared I couldn’t make my business work so I accepted some contract work I disliked just to hit my revenue goal.)

Even today, on that call with my friend…I wondered:

“Why am I still not doing the things I say I’ll do?”

Turns out, I was afraid of being stuck again.

And that fear kept me stuck doing nothing…

So now I’m trying to rebuild trust in myself.

Told myself I’d wake up early and go for a run today,

And I did, no matter what.

(If it was rainy, I was gonna run around the apartment or run on the treadmill. Luckily it was just a bit cloudy outside.)

I’m also focusing more on what feels right,

So I can trust my intuition instead of constantly asking others what to do.

I’ll keep you updated on how things go 1 week from now 🫶

What about you?

What’s something that feels right for you, but you’ve been too scared to take action on?

Til next time,

Jennifer

P.S. also trying this water manifestation thingy - I’m very data-driven though so I’m gonna track each day’s results to see if it actually works (cuz I swear the neuroscience behind it makes so much sense).